Monday, August 10, 2009

Be Afraid You Women!

2:04 am

I woke up from a filthy dream tonight. Graphic, perverse lewdness passed through my mind that makes me angry and causes my heart to cry out, "Why does this filthy distortion of God's creation of sex run so wild and free in our world!?" Unchallenged and unpunished in most cases. But these men and women are storing up wrath for themselves on the day of God's wrath (Romans 2:5, as I once was too, but so thankfully my Lord delivered me). Oh, how I hate the lewdness of ungodly women! Men, I know, are perverted even more, but you perverse women! So pure, so delicate, so sacred has God made your sexuality - meant to be given purely and beautifully to your husband for the glory of God. But NO! You have fallen captive to the desires of wicked men and succumbed to the crowd of other vile women! Such perverse distortions of the goodness and holiness of godly sexuality. It makes me want to cry and burn with anger at the same time.

But my sinful flesh enjoyed it (at the time)! What tragedy! What corruption of a pure and holy spirit. I craved more, I wanted to hear, to see, to know. Why no conviction in this dream world tonight? No eschewment of sin, no sensitivity to the Savior's repulsion of it?

Wicked things passed through my mind: the way disgusting women dress, the way they flaunt their sexuality to their "lovers," the way they talk about perverted private things so openly and freely. SEX IS MEANT TO BE ENJOYED PRIVATELY BETWEEN MAN, WOMAN, AND CHRIST! Do not trample the sanctity of it and thus dishonor your God by publicly talking about private things!

Women walking about in Frederick's gear! Women describing their sexual exploits and desires! Women defiling their bodies with other women! I hate it!!

But why, O sinful flesh did you enjoy this so? Had you been exposed to this horrific lewdness while awake, you would have burned with hatred...or perhaps been utterly repulsed by its sickening and complete ungodliness to say the least...or vomited.

But now I have a renewed passion for upholding God's sanctity, God's supremacy, and God's authority over His design and gift of sex. An unmovable zeal for the repulsion of sick, sexual distortions and an upholding of sex inside of heterosexual marriage. I now quake at the thought of dishonoring my God by recalling one of these filthy images. May God receive the glory for His creation of sex, and may man receive the gift in a holy fashion, as a reflection of what intimacy and love is like with Christ. In this and in unflinching devotion to purity before marriage, I am convinced lies the most fulfilling way to experience the gift of God.